Experimental Nonfiction, Jianna Heuer
Entering a Correctional Facility
Upon entering this facility, you are now subject to the same treatment as the prisoners. Expect side-eye and suspicious glares. We reserve the right to administer a thorough body pat down, possibly grazing a nipple and lingering at your crotch, as needed.
Once you enter our domain, you will pay for the fuck up of your loved one with your dignity. We are watching you and clocking every move, every look, what you say, and how you say it. It's the middle school cafeteria all over again, and we are the coolest girls in school. Instead of looking to see if you are wearing the right shoes or brand of jeans, we are watching to see if you are slipping drugs, contraband, hope, or sexual favors to the prisoner you are visiting.
What to Bring for Your Visit
Identification (ID)
You must show an official government ID. We will bend it, hold it up to the light, and scrutinize it by saying things like, “You look too pretty in your driver's license photo. Are you sure this is real?”
If you are from out of state, especially the East Coast, all questions about your ID will be delivered with disdain, suspicion, and ridicule.
New York City residents may be subject to additional questioning, including but not limited to, “Is that why you're wearing all black? So, you think you're better than me?"
None of the questions about your ID have anything to do with you specifically, or the person you are there to visit. We just like having the power to fuck with you through small talk.
IDs are essential here. They will ground you when you start dissociating if, for example, your brother is a heroin dealer and you had no idea until you got his call pleading with you to bail him out of jail.
Appropriate clothing
Dress conservatively.
What is deemed appropriate will be at the guard's discretion. The guidelines may be subject to change based on which guard is on duty, how many hours of sleep he's had, and the extent of his desire to have any job but this one.
If you are female, dresses, skirts, and shorts are permitted if worn at knee level or lower when standing, but only if you are over 200 pounds and a little bit ugly.
There are different standards for women who are fit and relatively attractive. This is 100% objective and will be decided once we have subjected you to spinning around in a circle so we can take a nice hard look at all aspects of your body in your black skinny jeans, crew neck t-shirt, and vans. Then we will look you up and down and tell you what you wear is unsuitable.
Once we have sufficiently humiliated the visitor like a high school principal after seeing your 36Ds in a tight white sweater, we will bar you from visiting. You will be forced to head to the local Walmart, the only place to buy clothing within a 50-mile radius, and purchase men's sweatpants and t-shirts to cover up your female form.
White men will not be scrutinized in the same way as women or minorities. They will get a cursory glance from the guard and be let in with a simple wave.
Quarters
Quarters are needed for the vending machine. Junk food helps replicate a typical day on the “outside.”
You must store some personal items in a visiting locker, which requires a quarter to work. Your phone, wallet, car keys, anger, resentment, fear, grief, sense of loss, and inability to process what is happening are not allowed in visiting areas.
You can also use the quarters to buy a commemorative photo featuring your brother posing with his fellow inmates: two standing tall, chests out and proud, two kneeling on one knee, looking like they are about to propose, no one smiling, eyes hard and cold. Yes, that will fit nicely on the mantel next to the inmate's sister's wedding photos from earlier this year. The wedding he couldn't attend because he was here, detoxing and joining a gang of white supremacists to ensure his safety.
Other Approved Items
Approved items per child visitor include two diapers, one clear plastic bottle, five wipes, childhood trauma, attachment issues, and PTSD. All must be contained in a plastic bag.
Moms may bring unconditional love and support.
Sisters may bring questions the inmate won't answer.
Brothers-in-law may bring support for the family. He will also be the designated driver because the ladies he travels with will have eyes too swollen from crying to drive safely. He brings the level head they need help to maintain.
Emergency medications
Visitors with any medications prescribed for emergencies, such as panic attacks and sudden outbursts of rage or sadness, must leave pills at the sergeant's desk for security reasons.
We will dispense them at our discretion. We have a one-for-me, one-for-you policy with any of the good stuff like Xanax and Valium.
Visitors may bring five photographs to share.
No photo will come back to you unharmed.
We reserve the right to rifle through the photos and comment on your “rockin body” in the beach pic from your honeymoon or ask questions like “Where did you get married, on a rooftop? What are you rich?” before allowing you to get them into the visiting area.
Choose the photos you bring wisely. Don’t bring any of the inmate’s daughter clutching the tiny pink unicorn you said was from her dad. It may make the inmate cry, putting him at risk of a brutal fight and getting thrown in the hole later this evening.
What to Leave at Home or in a Facility Locker
Weapons such as denial, passive aggression, and resentment.
Cigarettes, vapes, marijuana, and alcohol. We know they are all the drugs that help you cope with your current reality, but you must wait until you return to your cheap hotel room to imbibe.
Your sanity, so you can retrieve it when you're done.
Exiting the Visiting Room
A piercing bell rings to indicate your visit is ending. You are allowed one hug. No longer than 10 seconds, the exact time it takes your heart to break. The inmate will return to his cell, and you will return to your life, but neither of you is free.
Jianna Heuer is a Psychotherapist in New York City. She writes nonfiction and fiction. Her work has appeared in The Inquisitive Eater, Midsummer Dream House, Across The Margin, and other literary journals. Her flash nonfiction has appeared in two books, Fast Funny Women and Fast Fierce Women. Check out more of her work here: https://linktr.ee/jiannaheuer
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